Grace is enough

Life has been a roller coaster ride in the last month.  On the 10th March, I found myself in a situation that was heart stopping and life changing.  I heard the word CANCER and was told I needed to leave Uganda that very week if I valued my life and future. Tests had suggested that I had ovarian cancer but in Uganda there was no treatment for this and was told I must return to my homeland for treatment and confirmation.  
On the 14th, I was Canada bound, leaving my husband, my friends, my co-workers and my life behind with all its plans -- many of those still not knowing what was going on -- all left behind... 
As I sat on the plane looking at those around me, not ONE had any concept of what was going on in my head...or in my heart.  Finding a way to be comfortable with 15+ extra water mass in my abdomen was a real challenge for me, and when we touched down in London, I was happy to find my feet and walk around for a while until a comfy seat and foot rest was found.  
Some calls from my main man, a couple of friends who prayed for me, all made my time endurable in Heathrow airport. I could start thinking about my family back in Canada who were awaiting my arrival, with some appointments already booked for me. I prayed God would give me courage to face my children who bravely awaited their mother, in hopes of miracles already taking place.  
God...I need you now. I need you to embrace me with your grace and courage.  How am I to cope with something like this? Yes, I know many go through these valleys and face the fearful "C" disease...can I manage to be that brave and that strong? You know every inch of me, even before I was formed, you knew me.... but why? Why now? When my whole life is planned? When there is so much I need to finish? So much to live for?
Upon arrival in Calgary, a nice welcome awaited -- beautiful children; what a sight for sore and tired eyes.  Blasts of cold, wintery chill, then snuggled in the warm car, and away we go -- home. More hugs and welcomes to come - all gathered and greetings, warmth by the fire.  Lots to catch up and lots to plan. Thank you God for ALL of this! I am blessed.
The next two weeks are a blur -- hospital stays, lots of tests, needles and more needles, then biopsy and CT scan and yes, more blood, more fluid removal, and drink, drink, drink!  Then, home again, then back again -- until my head and body are tired and yet, it is hard to sleep most nights.  When will the results be ready?  My parents, fly in to add more support, and yes, it is nice to be that little girl once again. THANK YOU for that! Such grace!
I am supported - no doubt of that! Phone calls, emails, text messages, cards, flowers, driver support, care givers, arm supporters, prayers and more prayers -- WOW! I am amazed at these loving arms around me - God you are awesome. You have shown me how large Christ's family is and how much you LOVE me.  You are a GOOD God and yes, you know my future and everything you have in store for me.
The Doctor (who is Kenyan Somalian and speaks Swahili) -- has news. It is that I am Stage 3 C Ovarian cancer, with no cancer in my lymph nodes, kidneys and liver. Even my uterus seems free. I have a huge abdomen mass and fibrous mass in my pelvic area and we need to start aggressively with chemotherapy which will be given by IV every 3 weeks for a 9 week period.  Then, another CT scan and possibly surgery to follow.  Then, we see from there what next steps to follow.  It depends on the chemo success.
So, yes, Chemo was yesterday. My first day to sit in a chair hooked up to this chemical warfare to fight this killer inside of me. So many stories one hears about all of this and I had imagined a nightmare. But, I slept through most of the 6 hour session, thanks to Benadryl.  I was cared for by family and pampered by great nurses.  The day went so well and I thank God for the first leg of this journey which has begun. Today, I had 4.2 litres of fluid taken from my abdomen, making that 11.2 litres that have been removed so far.
I will try to update you as I go, with God's hand in mine and the knowledge that without all my amazing family and Christian support groups, I could not go this route alone. Thank you for your prayers and your concern, it is special to know I am loved.  I hope that this blog will be a place where we can share together and where my daughters will many times share on my behalf.
In victory -
Colleen