These past few weeks have been a roller coaster ride in many aspects. The week after chemotherapy treatment tends to be one that is most challenging due to a body meltdown from the infusion of chemicals. It's like a steep climb out of a deep pit, but up to this point I have been able to overcome and keep improving. By the third week, life has slowly resumed to some semblance of normalcy. I am ever grateful for the understanding and love of those around, who keep encouraging me to keep going despite the betrayal of the body. The spirit and mind are usually active and try to keep uplifting the rest.
Small things can make life seem so much better -- enjoying what one eats, sleeping through the night, energy to walk to the car or getting outside -- all assist in the feeling one can contribute (making a meal or homework with the grand kids). It gives satisfaction of achievement! During treatment, the world shrinks and so every letter, email, call or request allows one to feel needed and part of the vibrancy of life. I am part of living, part of community, part of a completed puzzle that shows I am loved and essential. I was created to need and be needed...
As I looked out the window today at the reflection of the sun off the crisp snow, I was reminded about the Scriptures that speak about God and the fact that He "will never leave me nor forsake me..." (Hebrews 13:5b) and that "he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock..." (Ps. 27:5). How comforting! The Lord is looking out for me and cares about my life. I need not worry or stress as I am loved. He created me in His image! He loves me so much that He died for all my sins! My thoughts and concerns all mean something to Him -- He is my protector from all life's storms. I am thankful that I am His child.
As I plan for treatment again this week (Thursday) I ask the Lord to be by my side -- to wrap His loving arms around and shelter me from the inner storms that rage against the cancer cells. I await results from my CT-scan and the CA125 blood tests, which will be tomorrow. I anticipate good news that reveal His healing Hand is at work. I know His plans for me are good, as He is my loving Father and wants the best for me! I am half way through treatment and this week will be the 4th chemotherapy, pushing me into the second half. I am trusting and eager to keep things going forward -- awaiting His perfect timing of healing in this uncertain journey. Hope is there -- today, tomorrow and always....
No comments:
Post a Comment