It was an emotional experience, but I had the loving eyes of my husband locked on mine, my hand firmly held by a sweet daughter. What enveloping support wrapped around me as I stepped into another phase of my 'road to recovery.'
Feelings grow strong inside of me as I turn to face myself in the mirror, looking at this stranger with larger eyes and features framed. Is this really me? Really? It took me moments to draw my eyes away from cut hair clumped on the floor, that outer part that now is dead to me. Why is it that our outer shell has our inner part so encased and entrapped?
"What comes first is the natural body, then the spiritual body comes later." I Cor 15:46.
I focus on tasks at hand, fitting for a new head of hair -- a new look and yes, I thank God for wigs. These man-made, synthetic pieces of cloned hair, make life so much easier.... who would have known? Not I. Thankfully, I grasp for normalcy in my hand, in my life, by putting on this look-a-like, frivolous piece of "hair". Thank you God for these added snippets of grace in my daily life. You know what I need - from the top of my head to the heals of my feet. In the whole world, you alone know EVERY nib of stubble on my head, every crease on my face and every tear that trickles down my face.
"There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you across the skies in majestic splendor." Deut 33:26 (NLT)
Today, I feel like a newer woman -- from the inside out. Again, I have crossed a bridge inside of me that has revealed more of my inner being. God's hand is in mine and I believe with it there, I am strengthening day to day. I am loved, chosen, lifted up, embraced, growing, budding, and oh! so much more.
Daily I seek you, Daily I am blessed!
"What comes first is the natural body, then the spiritual body comes later." I Cor 15:46.
I focus on tasks at hand, fitting for a new head of hair -- a new look and yes, I thank God for wigs. These man-made, synthetic pieces of cloned hair, make life so much easier.... who would have known? Not I. Thankfully, I grasp for normalcy in my hand, in my life, by putting on this look-a-like, frivolous piece of "hair". Thank you God for these added snippets of grace in my daily life. You know what I need - from the top of my head to the heals of my feet. In the whole world, you alone know EVERY nib of stubble on my head, every crease on my face and every tear that trickles down my face.
"There is no one like the God of Israel. He rides across the heavens to help you across the skies in majestic splendor." Deut 33:26 (NLT)
Today, I feel like a newer woman -- from the inside out. Again, I have crossed a bridge inside of me that has revealed more of my inner being. God's hand is in mine and I believe with it there, I am strengthening day to day. I am loved, chosen, lifted up, embraced, growing, budding, and oh! so much more.
Daily I seek you, Daily I am blessed!
Colleen...I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through right now, but I know someone who does. You are a beautiful woman of God, created in His image, reflecting His love and compassion through your beautiful smile, spirit, and heart. The inward beauty you possess far outweighs your physical beauty. So just let it glow dear sister! Saw the following verse in a card...be encouraged and know that you are loved! Hugs & prayers!!
ReplyDelete"No one said it would be easy to lose your hair.
But knowing you, you'll find a way to turn this
situation around and use it as a badge of honor,
a sign to the world that your treatments are working.
And when this is all behind you and your hair grows back,
you'll be able to say with assurance, that every day is a good hair day."
So proud of you and how you are handling all of this with grace, faith, and courage. You are an amazing woman, and I'm blessed to have you as my Mom. ❤️
ReplyDeleteDear Colleen, what a journey this is - thanks for sharing your struggles, fears and hopes and the victories you find in the constancy of God's word and His forever presence. Amazing Grace you are experiencing and being healed by within and without. The song He Knows My Name by Matt Redman comes to mind as I think of you - He knows your name Colleen - He knows your every thought. He sees each tear that falls, and hears you when you call. You have a Maker, He formed your heart (and it's so BIG) before even time began your life was in His hand. You have a Father, He calls you His own, He'll never leave you, no matter where you go. Lots of love... Julie
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