Slow down and smell the flowers.... April, 16, 2015

Looking at the oncologist eye to eye, I listened to her explain the results of the PET and CT scans. My heart beat methodically in my chest and I found myself anticipating every word she spoke. "Your follow-up scans are good and there is no cancer seen inside your abdomen or anywhere else. Your CA125 blood count is up three points to nine, but that is very low. I see nothing to worry about." As I took in this good news, I rejoiced and knew God and endless prayers had allowed this amazing miracle to transpire. Yes, I have passed the test and can now move on! That my life has been spared and I am one of the 30% that make it through ovarian cancer is remarkable. God is good!!

"I waited and waited and waited for God. 

At last he looked; finally he listened.

He lifted me out of the ditch, 

Pulled me from deep mud.

He stood me up on a solid rock

to make sure I wouldn't slip." Ps. 40:1,2

I feel that I have been through a long mountainous hike and acknowledge that there were times of struggle -- up stoney inclines where I trembled and could not keep my feet from slipping and falling. And again, other moments of looking down into precipitous cliffs feeling myself plummeting downwards.. but, then ALWAYS, I felt someone there beside me. God kept His hands on me and never let go --"I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I'm not letting go.". (Is. 41:13) I am amazed by His goodness.

"But blessed is the man who trusts me, God, the woman who sticks with God. They're like trees replanted in Eden, putting down roots near the rivers -- Never a worry through the hottest of summers, never dropping a leaf, Serene and calm through droughts, bearing fresh fruit every season." Jer 17:7-8

Admittedly this past year has been a challenge in many ways. Often I wondered why God did not heal me instantaneously, because I know He could have and has in the past. Was my faith not strong enough? Was I using wrong building blocks of scripture that were not organized and effective? Then, I was told by someone that there would be healing, but it would take a longer path then I desired, but for a purpose. God wanted this journey to be a testimony -- to those in the cancer clinics, the blog site, and to the church family all over. The still small voice inside of me reminded me that it was not I who was in charge of my future, but the One who gave me life. 

This can be challenging for someone who is used to being busy, needed, independent, and in control. Why, my mind asked, why does this time of illness have to take so long? I have things to do and places to go! 

This was not to be. It was in fact, my time to focus on getting better, strengthen and deepen my relationship with the Lord, as well as enjoying special times, creating memories with family. It was part of the journey to take in blessings, to be loved on, and to realize that life is indeed a gift. It was the appropriate moment to concede that yes, God's grace is sufficient for ALL my needs. Who was I to be loved so? His child! 

Holly Garth mentioned in her devotional, 

"God will not rush your healing,

And God will not rush your growth.

He’ll give it to your heart–

as much as you need."

So, take time to stop and smell the flowers -- what is the rush? Many special moments are missed because we are in a hurry, or we focus on our phone rather than noticing the little wispy curl growing around your spouses' ear or the ray of golden sunshine falling across the kitchen table. 

This Monday, April the 20th, surgery will occur on two vertebrae in my lower spine due to spinal stenosis. The surgeon will fuse them together with screws and rods. I request prayer for the surgeon -- that his hands will be steady and all things will work together for good and that the pain in my lower body will ease. I am hopeful that after a time of recuperation, my life will resume its normal pace. That the surgery is next week is an absolute miracle as the initial time given was around nine months! Prayer works and this is again another instance of how unity within the body of Christ brings results. 

Thanks so much for standing with our family in prayer. It is encouraging and sustains those moments of doubt or fear. 

"Oh, how sweet the light of day,

And how wonderful to live in the sunshine!

Even if you live a long time,

don't take a single day for granted.

Take delight in each light-filled hour,

Remembering that there will also be many dark days."

Ecc. 11:7,8 

A good reminder for us to live each day to the fullest and to take delight in each moment.