This past month it has been affirmed that God is everlasting and sees things through to the end! My life is evidence of that and moment after moment, day by day, and time after time He has proved that.
"God said, "My presence will go with you. I'll see the journey to the end." Exodus 33:24
Job went through real hardship, heartbreak and extreme suffering while he was being tested - but he persevered and never gave up on God. We too go through times of testing and for the past 16 months I, at times, have felt abandoned and stretched to the breaking point. But the loving hands of God reached out to me when I needed them most.
"God said, "My presence will go with you. I'll see the journey to the end." Exodus 33:24
True, he wounds, but he also dresses the wound;
The same hand that hurts you, heals you.
From one disaster after another he delivers you;
No matter what the calamity,
The evil can't touch you.
Job 5:18,19
In the time of waiting for answers, God showed favor. Surgery that had been scheduled for months away (3-9) were shifted to immediate. The day after meeting with the neurosurgeon, I answered a call from his office saying that the surgery date was set for April 20th -- only a little over a week away. This was God patting my head, gently saying, "Trust me...leave it all to me..."
The day of surgery arrived and rather than anxiety, there was a feeling of anticipation of an end to the painful aches in my legs and back. After 4 1/2 hours of the surgeon performing a spinal fusion (putting screws into my two lower vertebrae and removing the disc sandwiched between), I was ready for the recovery room. The first three days following surgery were not the easiest due to reactions to the anesthesia and the need for two blood transfusions -- but five days later a letter of discharge was issued. I was so ready to go home, and thanks to the use of a cane, was able to walk alone.
It has now been three weeks and I am able to walk without a cane, bend and carry some, drive -- yes, healing has taken off!
It has now been three weeks and I am able to walk without a cane, bend and carry some, drive -- yes, healing has taken off!
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me.
Get away with me and you'll recover your life.
I'll show you how to take a real rest.
Walk with me and work with me -- watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.
Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
Matt 11:28, 29
Love, yes endless, boundless love has been showered upon my being.. like Aaron of old, with precious oil dripping down his head and beard, I feel God's mercy and abounding love running down my cheeks and arms -- reassuring and warm, encompassing and healing. This unity and oneness I feel when I look back and see how you've led, guided and provided -- yes, for me. I marvel that you love me so...humbled, yet thankful -- so thankful.
"I'm ready, God, so ready, ready from head to toe,
Ready to sing, ready to raise a tune:
Wake up, soul! wake up, harp! wake up lute!
Wake up, you sleepy head sun!"
I'm thanking you, God out loud in the streets,
singing your praises in town and country.
The deeper your love, the higher it goes;
every cloud is a flag to your faithfulness.
Soar high in the skies, O God!
Cover the whole earth with your glory!
Psalms 57:8-11
God certainly knows my future, of that I am sure! I await a final x-ray on my spine, physiotherapy, and a final check up with the cancer clinic in 8 weeks. I then will be released to return to Africa, where ministry awaits. This journey has been longer than I wished for or imagined, hard on the separation of husband and wife... but I see God's signature on every part of it. This time with family has been invaluable and precious and I rejoice and thank God for allowing it. He has opened many doors of opportunity and permitted a wealth of memories. I have learned to appreciate each moment, each day and the beauty of creation around me. These experiences change a person. It can be a positive life change or a bitter reaction to the hard parts of it. I continue to pray that God will use my testimony for His glory, because it is due to Him that I live.
Colleen...thank you for your inspiring words. Watching God work miracles in your life as you faced so many challenges has been an incredible testimony to God's faithfulness. Nothing is wasted in His kingdom...not even sickness. I think of the words in Deuteronomy 23:5, “I turned the intended curse into a blessing unto you, because I love you.”
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